Today was my last Adult Swim—the first big last as we wind up our summer here at Lac Louisa. I was feeling all the sad feels; all the it’s gone by too fasts; all the resistance to change; the happy-right-where-I-ams.

The weather matched my mood: a gray and cloudy sky, heavy with rain that eventually started falling. Our fabulous coaches Hazel and Zach had spent the night working at the annual club sleepover, which meant they hadn’t really slept at all.

It was an all-around melancholy vibe, but swimming improved things as it always does.

Back and forth between the lane lines, watching the fish, breathing, stretching, pulling, and kicking; after a while, I’m just a body in water and the me who is sad about leaving, who is stressed about what needs to be done to manage the leaving, can take a break for a while.